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For those of you who were not previously aware of my current situation,  I was recently evicted from my home, and  given mere hours to vacate the property, do to an oversight by the properties management, who "accidentally approved" my initial application. After 4 months being an ideal tenant, the powers that be realized they had allowed a convicted felon to move in to their "crime free housing complex" and even though this error was their fault they insisted that i had to get off the property immediatly, I had nowhere to go and absolutely no idea what i was going to do.

What started out as a seemingly disatiourous situation, ended up bringing some genuinely amazing new friends into my life. With hardly any cash left to my name after paying bills at a residence i was no longer allowed to live at, i had few resources, and even fewer options. I was completely dependent on the kindness of others. People who just days prior had been strangers to me essentially now were kind enough to open up their home to me.

Having hit a significantly low point in my liife, my confidence and self esteem were dwindling. I was particularly frustrated with my physical features that still appeared femanine in appearance. Despite the effects of my testosterone injections, I was anxious to achieve the results that wouold at th very least take months to achieve.

 Pre Testosterone

But even if i hadnt taken notcie yet other people started to pick up on the changes. Scott, the 14 year old son of my friend Kim, instantly accepted me as a male. He even looks up to me like a big brother. We go to the barber together and get fades, and he wears my clothes that are quickly becoming too small for me now that my muscle mass is increasing.

I make sure his clothes match in the morning and help him with his homework in the evening, except when one of us has school we are pretty much together 24/7.
After a couple weeks of spending almost every waking hour running around with me he finally got uo the nerve to ask me a question that hahd been on his mind. "Nolen... why do you look like a girl dude?" His mom and everyone else in the room gasped in horror at this "offensive" question. I couldnt help but burst out laughing. He honestly didnt get it. Unlike all the adults around him who switch between pronouns when speaking to me and dont view or treat me quite the same way they would a cisgendered-male, Scott knows the man that i am inside. instead of looking at my exterior and assuming it matches up qith my gender identiy., he sees me for who i genuinely am and disregards whatever aspects of my physical body may contradict it.

Now 2 Months on Testosterone

ix.

entry 9

iix

nine

Food Inc

Hungry? After watching "Food Inc" you won't be, trust me. I promise that any hint of an appetite will be nonexistent after watching this shocking, brutally honest, and often times disturbing documentary .

vii: Transitioning

Body building is a pastime that many people take very seriously, often to extreme levels. Mostly this is a male dominated sport, and like most sports there is often controversy regarding the use of steroids and enhancing drugs. I have never been the athletic type myself , but since I have started my physical transition with hormone replacement therapy I have developed a sudden interest; borderline obsession with working out and weight training.

Testosterone had already started to change the shape and overall appearance of my body. I have all but lost my curves and now have a much more masculine figure. For the first month of my steroid cycles I included absolutely no exercise as part of my routine. Somehow despite my lack of effort whatsoever I still noticed significant muscle gain and felt encouraged by the results. 

This led me to wonder about how significant the results would be if I added a weight training program to coincide with my steroid cycle. It seems like I would be wasting an oppritunity if I didn't put fourth t least some physical effort . 

The trouble with hormone replacement therapy is how quickly my muscle mass increases. My muscles are capable of handling weight that my tendons can not keep up with. So I must resist the temptation to show off or lift more weight than I have previously. My doctor put it this way in clinical terms I would be "screwed" if I pushed myself too hard and snapped a tendon. So high reps low weight is my mantra for the time being. 

My doctor doubled my dose of testosterone for each weekly injection, and my energy levels have surged along with my confidence. I also recently met the first other transguy I have ever encountered personally. He has been on hormones for over a year and I was so encouraged by his results. He had transitioned so completely that I assumed he had been born a natural male, it was not until he asked if I was attending pride that I put two and two together. 

Not much else to include in this transition update other than the changes in my voice. It has lowered significantly and I am proud to report the first signs of my newly developing Adam's apple. I am a musician and song wroter but I have had to relearn how to use my deeper voice. Singing is out of the question right now as it causes my voice to crack and makes me sound like a 15 year old. Even though I know I sound ridiculous I am thrilled to finally have my voice drop. 

Extra Credit

I opened the door to su-104 as quietly as possible but still found myself the subject of several sideways glances and turned heads- the very thing I'd been trying to avoid. I'd arrived a few minutes late moments after finishing my math test, the results of which I was far from optimistic about. I grabbed a seat and attempted as best I could to make myself invisible as I took in my new surroundings.

The room was packed with students and the occasional faculty member, all eyes were on the blonde woman speaking. She spoke with an air of authority and that subtle level of arrogance that screamed "cop", normally every instinct I have tells me to place as much distance as possible between myself and law enforcement but I did my best to look studious and convince myself as much as those around me that I belonged.

I pulled out a notebook with the initial intention of taking notes but soon found myself so absorbed in the speakers words I was unable to write. This was far from the typical "stranger danger" lecture I had anticipated. As the detective spoke of her first hand encounters with pimps and their victims I was shocked and troubled by what I heard. In my young life I have seen and encountered plenty that would shock most people and generally consider myself pretty hard to get a reaction out of, just to give you a reference point.

Prior to my incarceration I was acquainted with several proatitutes and interacted with them regularly without ever giving it much thought. Now after hearing the terrible things these girls go through and how they are pulled into the lifestyle and  manipulated into staying, I am ashamed at my younger self for not reaching out to those girls and trying to help them in some way. The lecture ended with a quote that truly resonated with me and that in my opinion is very appropriate...

You may choose to look the other way, but you can never again say that you did not know."

V. Fresh

Many of us rarely question where the food on our table came from, and an even fewer number of us think about how we will continue to put food on it tomorrow and the next day. Americas farms and farmers are in serious danger and the majority of us are not even aware of this issue.








The documentary Fresh ,explores agriculture in modern America and invites us to question where our food comes from, opening up for discussion, why food matters. It invites us not only to think about food and it's sources, but also to think about how our own actions impact this both presently and also for future generations.

For many of us, food is something that has always been there. And because of its constant abundance it becomes so automatic that we consume it without actually thinking much about it. Because we have never gone without it we do not stop to think about where it comes from.
The film Fresh challenges us to break out of this routine and open up a dialogue about what we eat and where it comes from. It's audience is any American who wants to become more educated and aware of what they are putting into their bodies.